Ruby's 'Sekkrit' Lover
by ElfCollaborator
Summary: Ruby meets her apparent boyfriend. This complicates things. Parody, crossovers. Sidestory to 'Rebellious Heiresses and Fallen Princes', taking place between 'Aurum Potestas Est' and 'Snow Princess, Ice Queen'. Rated T for some swearing. RnR!


**A/N: My little parody of OCs who happen to be Sue-ish and somehow know team RWBY and fit into it despite, y'know, it being a FOUR MAN TEAM. I apologize for terrible writing, but read and review! The characters belong to the wonderfully talented Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth.**

Ruby's 'Sekkrit' Lover

After, of course, hearing about Weiss' encounter with some person who was clearly not from Vale, or, indeed, Remnant (a theory Yang had decided to make up- her reasoning being 'who could make up this stuff?'), Ruby realized that it wasn't just the young heiress who had visitors from other worlds.

At least, you could call them visitors. This one was more of an annoying stalker.

"Ruby, please! We know each other! Ow!"

The silver-eyed girl sighed, looking at their 'guest' of sorts; a young man, gangly and gaunt, wearing a red shirt and ripped jeans, and currently struggling to get towards Ruby. He had wolf ears, signifying his Faunus heritage, and his eyes were silver like hers.

Her adoptive sister was behind him, having administered a 'dope slap' and looking irritated; luckily for him, she wasn't wearing her gauntlets. One hand was pinning him to her, the other was free and at her forehead. On the table next to them, two weapons were on them; one was a large silver claymore, glowing with energy, and the other were dual pistols, the grips carved with needlessly elaborate designs, one of them having a wolf's head for a barrel, and the other having a lion's head.

"Sis, can I PLEASE punt him out of here? He's starting to act all….creepy." Yang looked slightly disgusted. "Seriously, why does Weiss get all the nice guys and we get the weird stalker people?"

Blake barely looked up from the book she was reading in the corner. Surprisingly, it wasn't her favourite series, _Ninjas of Love_, but a book on Vytal history; the aloof girl was trying to figure out how people from, well, other worlds of sorts, could appear here. She had long since stopped caring about their current visitor. She shrugged back at the blond brawler.

Ruby sighed as the gangly teen looked pleadingly at her.

"How did I get into this mess?"

* * *

Hours earlier….

Ruby walked around the fountain Weiss often frequented. The red-hooded girl was intrigued by what Yang had found out earlier.

_ "As you can see, Ruby, clearly, there's something up about that fountain!" The blonde brawler tapped a small whiteboard, with a crude drawing of the Hunter's Fountain in front of Beacon with a small pointer she'd acquired from somewhere._

_ "How do you know that?"_

_ "I mean, every weekend, Weiss goes up there and meets some random, possibly cute kid, right?"_

_ Ruby lifted an eyebrow. "…yes?"_

_ "And they're always, well, interesting?"_

_ "Well, considering one of them lead a rebellion and the other one held a fairy hostage at eleven years old, I d-"_

_ "I'll take it as a yes." Yang interrupted her, then proceeded to continue._

_ "Now, if we take into account that the FOUNTAIN is where she found everyone…"_

_ "Yes…."_

_ "And that clearly, they can't BE from Vytal, or anywhere near…."_

_ "Uhuh…."_

_ "Clearly this must mean…"_

_ The silver-eyed girl's eyes lit up. "That they're from an alternate universe! Wait, what?" She then proceeded to look confused._

_ Yang smiled. "That HAS to be the logical explanation!"_

_ "Dust help me." Blake sighed in her bunk and shoved a pillow over her own head. Ruby sighed. "Surely they have to be from somewhere on Vytal? Couldn't we ask Pyrrha or Nora or-"_

_"Ruby! They wouldn't know what we're talking about! I mean, have you even HEARD of this 'Japan' or 'Fowl Industries'? If they were as big as they said they were, then Weiss would know about them already. Even WE would!" The brawler sighed, before looking out of the window and at the fountain._

_"This is why I'm going to need you to hang out by there." She patted Ruby on the shoulder._

_"Why?! You know I'm not good with-"_

_"Well, I don't want to, and Blake is being a grumpy little kitt-" A pillow hits Yang in the face before she could finish her sentence._

_"Yang, I swear, if you make a cat joke again, I will END you." _

_"And I need to know if only Weiss can trigger it or if anyone can. You volunteered to this, now bye-bye!" With that, Yang hastily pushed Ruby out of the room, despite the younger girl's protests._

The silver-eyed girl looked exasperatedly at the columns surrounding the fountain. Nobody was coming yet, although, from what her sister had said, Weiss had waited longer.

Then, he came.

* * *

John awoke on the lawn of Beacon Academy, groaning. In his hands were his dual pistols, Leos and Lupis, and at his back was his mighty Dust-imbued sword, Revolution. He came to, his wolf ears twitching.

"Ugh...whe-wait. This isn't RWBY dorm! Wher-oh. Just on the lawn." He pulled himself up, looking around. The Faunus was, of course, currently remembering last night's events; namely, his oh-so-lovely date with the girl he loved...

Ruby Rose.

John was infatuated with the scythe wielder, and she with him. They had met a long time ago in Signal; she was always dragging him around, much to his annoyance, but slowly, surely, the seeds of romance had been sown in both of them, and, eventually, with Yang's blessing, the wolf Faunus began to court her.

He even remembered last falling asleep with her in his arms. At this, the boy blushed a bright shade of red and set off to get back into the building.  
"Hm...now to talk to her abo-Oh, there she is!" He'd spotted Ruby, standing around the fountain. He approached her.

"Hey, little Red!"

* * *

"...huh." Ruby looked confusedly at the newcomer. He was a wolf Faunus, two strange pistols in hand, with a large sword on his back. He seemed to recognize; hell, know her from the look on his face, but she didn't seem to know him.

"Ruby! It's me, John!"

"Uh...hi?" The silver-eyed girl blinked in confusion, before waving at him. The Faunus sighed. "We really have to talk about dinner on the marina one time."

"Dinner...on...the...what?"

"Don't you remember? We were going to have dinner on the marina with Weiss and some friends of mine!"

"No...?" Ruby was befuddled. Why had some random person come up to her and mentioned dinner. Did she have a boyfriend she didn't know about? Was this Yang's idea of a prank?

Then again, she realized that Yang wouldn't be able to get her hands on such weapons.

'Oh Dust help me.' The girl thought to herself. She realized that this guy was, while definitely NOT from the same place Weiss' visitors were, was certainly not from THIS Beacon.

"Ruby? Something wrong?" John waved his hands in front of her.

"I...uh...think you have the...wrong...Ruby?" The girl asked hopefully. He shook his head.

"Ruby. Don't you know me? I'm John. The guy who beat up Cardin when he tried to blackmail Jaune, the guy who saved you from those Nevermores, you know, John from Signal? Your boyfriend?" John asked her desperately.

'Oh Dust _please_ help me. Someone. Yang. Blake. Weiss. Jaune. Even _Cardin._ Please, someone get me out of this mess.'

Ruby slowly backed away cautiously, preparing to put her Semblance to good use if she needed to. John, however, was ahead of her.

"Ruby? Don't you know me?" Ruby jumped and looked behind her. In a twist of irony, John had appeared behind her.

"I...uhh..."

With that, Ruby ran away, leaving a Ruby-shaped dust cloud. John chased after her.

"Hey, wait! Ruby! Is something wrong?!"

* * *

"MustgettoYangmustgettoYangmustgettoYang-!" The scythe wielder repeated her goal like a mantra. Ruby ran through the halls of Beacon, trying to evade her apparent 'boyfriend'. John was hasty, and seemed to have an even stronger Semblance than she did, much to her despair.

"Ruby! Please! We can talk!"

Ruby rounded the corner. She recognized the doors.

Just two more corridors, then she'd be by team JNPR and team RWBY's dorms.

'Pleaseplease_please_ let me get there please!'

And she collided...into John. He stopped her with his much bigger arms.

"Ruby, did someone wipe your memory?"

"Aaaah!" She was knocked to the floor, shaking her head.

"Come on, let's take you to the infirmary. They'll know what to do with you-"  
"There's nothing wrong with me!"

"Of course there is!" John looked distressed. "You don't know me, Ruby! Don't you remember? You love me! And-" He was silenced with a quick golden jab to the head, sending him into the wall and into unconsciousness. Yang looked down at her sister.

"Ruby! Are you alright?" The blonde brawler picked her up, hugging her tightly. The silver-eyed girl felt the wind knocked out of her, but didn't complain.

"I'm fine, but-"

"We need to figure out this guy, and quickly!"

* * *

"Yang, Blake, you both know who I am, right? Remind Ruby, please. She needs to know!"

"Actually, you just creeped my sister out. She ISN'T. YOUR. GIRLFRIEND." Yang reiterated the point she had been exasperatedly repeating for the last five minutes.

"Come on, you know me, right? Top student of the class? The one guy with two Semblances? Knew Torchwick personally? Worked with the White Fang?"

Blake sighed, standing up from her bunk and making her way over to him.

"Alright. Let's see what you know, if your claims are true.

Who was the leader of the White Fang?"

John smiled. "Marcus Belladonna. Your fat-"

"Incorrect. My father wasn't in the White Fang.

Next question. Who is Weiss' mother?"

"Arya Sch-"  
"Incorrect. Now, what did Jaune do in the mission we just had?"

"Pissed himself and-"

"Incorrect. He saved Ruby from Nevermores." The aloof girl blinked, having not even broken her vaguely bored expression. She turned to Yang and Ruby, one of her ears twitching in irritation.  
"He is clearly not from this version of Beacon."

Yang started to respond. "Well, we knew _that_, Blake, but-"

"What do we do with him?", Ruby finished for her sister. Blake shrugged.

"I suggest we tell Professor Ozpin."

"Ozpin can't know!" The brawler protested.

"And why not?"

"Because...well...then he might stop Weiss from meeting with her...visitors?"

"A good point, but maybe she does-"

Ruby decided to interrupt.

"Or maybe we could wait till sunset and push him into the Beacon gates!"

Yang and Blake both looked at her. "What?"

"Think about it. You told me that both Lelouch and Artemis left at sunset, right? And they walked towards Beacon's gates to leave.

What if it's the same with John? If so, we could push him into the gates and have it done with."

"A good-"

John snarled. "I'm not leaving until I figure out what's wrong with you people! You don't know me, you act like I'm a stranger despite knowing me for years! Come on, team RWBY! We know each other!"

"...he's even more annoying than Cardin and Weiss combined. And I'm talking about the old, bossy Weiss, not the nice one." Yang sighed.

"Agreed.", Ruby and Blake responded in unison.

* * *

The plan was set. Ruby, Blake, and Yang would just push him into the gates at sunset. However, there was one small problem.

He refused to move anywhere.

"I'm not leaving until you explain why Ruby won't talk to me."

Yang sighed. "I've told you a m-"

"Yeah, bullshit. You've known me for years, Yang Xiao Long! How could you recognize your sister's girlfriend?" The Faunus looked desperately at Yang. She sighed. "I TOLD YOU. NOW SHUT UP."

"Yang, I swear, if you did anything to-" At this, Yang's patience shattered. She grabbed John by the collar and looked at him.

"If I did anything to Ruby? She. Is. My. Sister.

You just came in, stalked her, and tried to claim you knew her. If anything, I should be the one giving you the 'If you do anything to hurt her' speech. So, let me tell you this.

You're going to go into that portal. Quietly. And if you don't, I will knock. Your. Fucking. Head. Off. You will not bother my sister again. I don't care about any other Ruby. If you touch my sister...

I. Will. End. You." The blonde brawler glared at the Faunus, who gulped. She resumed her happy demeanour, letting him down and dusting his sleeve off.

"Now, shall we begin?"

* * *

Eventually, after several glares from Yang and several creative uses of Gambol Shroud, John was hauled to the gates in time for sunset. Ruby stood nearby, sighing.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know you."

"Ruby...please. Tell your sister you know me. Please." John looked pleadingly at her.

"I...I don't." John sighed, resigned to his fate. Yang let him walk away, and he did.

Until...

"No. You're all wrong." The tone of his voice was very dangerous, Blake realized, and she readied Gambol Shroud for combat. Yang's Ember Celica cocked itself, and Ruby drew Crescent Rose. John turned around, drawing Leos and Lupis.

"You're all hypnotized. I'll have to-"

"Sorry!" A white shield flew into his head, knocking the Faunus down. This was followed by a white flash, shunting him into the gates and making him disappear. The three turned around to see Jaune and Weiss.

"Um...yeah."

"That was...unexpected."

Ruby looked at the heiress' confused face. "I...can explain."

"Yeah...you'd better."

* * *

**A/N: I need better parodies. Hoped you enjoyed my blatant take that at Sue-ish OCs. **

**Disclaimer: I in no way have anything against the authors who write with them. This is a parody and therefore meant to be humourous.**


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